An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Faith. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.

Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.