It's not the tragedies that kill us, it's the messes.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are: ''Check Enclosed.''

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

There's a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.

Scratch a lover, and find a foe.

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.

Why is it no one ever sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.