Some people never head a procession until they're dead.

The chief mourner does not always attend the funeral.

Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.

Worldly faces never look so worldly as at a funeral. They have the same effect of grating incongruity as the sound of a coarse voice breaking the solemn silence of night.

The only reason I might go to the funeral is to make absolutely sure that he's dead.

Funeral pomp is more for the vanity of the living than for the honor of the dead.

A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.