Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.

A teacher who is not dogmatic is simply a teacher who is not teaching.

Journalism is popular, but it is popular mainly as fiction. Life is one world, and life seen in the newspapers another.

Journalism consists largely in saying ''Lord James is dead'' to people who never knew Lord James was alive.

Nothing is poetical if plain daylight is not poetical; and no monster should amaze us if the normal man does not amaze.

If the barricades went up in our streets and the poor became masters, I think the priests would escape, I fear the gentlemen would; but I believe the gutters would simply be running with the blood of philanthropists.

The golden age only comes to men when they have forgotten gold.

Man does not live by soap alone; and hygiene, or even health, is not much good unless you can take a healthy view of it -- or, better still, feel a healthy indifference to it.

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean.

A turkey is more occult and awful than all the angels and archangels. In so far as God has partly revealed to us an angelic world, he has partly told us what an angel means. But God has never told us what a turkey means. And if you go and stare at a live turkey for an hour or two, you will find by the end of it that the enigma has rather increased than diminished.