A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little ''personal characteristics.''

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a ''Master of Arts'' and a ''Doctor of Philosophy'' after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.

The follies which a man regrets most in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one.

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her.

''Home'' is any four walls that enclose the right person.