Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

If at first you don't succeed, lie, lie again.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents shortcomings.

Two things reduce prejudice: education and laughter.

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.

When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.

Don't knock the rich. When did a poor person give you a job?