This comes of James teaching me to think for myself, and never to hold back out of fear of what other people may think of me. It works beautifully as long as I think the same things as he does.

Nature meant me a wife, a silly harmless household Dove, fond without art; and kind without deceit.

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do... but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

A perfect wife is one who helps her husband with the dishes.

If I was your wife Sir, I'd poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I'd let you!

It's my old girl that advises. She has the head. But I never own to it before her. Discipline must be maintained.

Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a ''Master of Arts'' and a ''Doctor of Philosophy'' after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.