I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.