If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing ''Embraceable You'' in spats.

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.

Marriage is the death of hope.

The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..